I am in a funk today. I think that it likely has to do with C-Girl being sick. E-Man is driving me insane. I am tired of looking at the same 4 walls and doing the same things over and over. I miss my husband. I desperately want someone to talk to that is over the age of 5. But I'd be contented to just have someone to sit in the same room with me. No conversation would be just fine. Is it wrong to want a little piece and quiet? Is it also wrong to expect your best friend to not be a total schmuck? Oh boy, I could rant and rave like a lunatic about that particular subject but I'll spare everyone the details and sum it up easily with only two words - self centered! That being said, I guess that I just keep hoping that something will change and she'll realize that the world does NOT revolve around her. People who use cell phones as a sole means of communication need to be shot with a ball of their own poop, to quote my mother! What is the point of having text messaging and voicemail when one does not respond accordingly? I could be dying somewhere and it likely wouldn't occur to Mel that the messages left/sent were the least bit important. I understand that I have children and that some of my priorities have changed. But when did that make me any less human? I require a certain amount of interaction with adults too. I really don't want my life to revolve on these 2 little people. I mean I love them but seriously! Ok enough of that I said I wasn't going to rant about this particular subject and I am going to stop now.
So I guess my issue is this - I am desperately LONELY. To the point that the very thought of spending another night by myself with a crying infant is enough to make me want to cry too.
I know that the end of this deployment is in sight. I know that I can do this because really, what other choice do I have? But dammit I'm tired! So incredibly tired of being alone and trying to keep it all together. I really, really, REALLY want to runaway...
No comments:
Post a Comment