Forgiveness and Betrayals

Lately it seems that my mind has been jumping from track to track in this trainwreck I call my life.  Just strange random memories of things/events that have occurred and that I feel I have no closure over.  Some of them are just a part of life and really, I suppose require none.  But there are a few others that are really bothering me.  One of which, I don't know if I ever will get "what is owed" to me and it is likely the one issue that keeps me doubting my relationship.

It is quite a dirty little story and I really have no desire to rehash all the details.  However, let me just say that I was offered a chance to discuss the issue at a later date by the instigator.  That was over a year ago.  Still waiting for that by the way.  She is family...what does that say?  I get that DJ still bears some of the blame for his part in the whole messy ordeal but I have to let that go.  I can't keep dwelling on it because if I do, it will tear my marriage apart.  And to what end?  The betrayal hurts my soul but on "paper" it really doesn't look like much.  My so called "family" has yet to put her big girl panties on and deal with it.  And I guess in the end that's fine since it's not like we see each other often.  But I don't want the big scene that I know is going to play out to happen at the most inopportune moment.  This is not something that I want to divide my family with.  My mum knows what happened.  So does my sister and my grandmother too.  No one was surprised...I am not sure how I should feel about that.

Part of me feels really stupid.  Like I should have seen it coming.  We all thought it was cute that she had such a crush on him.  Cute is ok at 14.  It isn't at 19.  Playing games with someone else's husband is not on...especially when that someone is family!  I guess that is where the ultimate betrayal lies.  Don't I deserve some kind of explanation?  Apology?  A kiss my ass bitch, even?  Anything at all would be better than what I get now.  And because I am a total sadist, she is still on my FB, blocked for most things mind you.  She has yet to delete me and I can't seem to delete her.  I did however, make him delete her.  I have to take his word that he has no contact with her.