Bewildered and Grieving...

I went to work last night expecting it to be a night like any other night.  How wrong was I?  I was informed that a colleague, mentor and friend had died unexpectedly on Saturday morning.  As it turns out, she took her own life with a bottle of pills.  I am dumbstruck and yet not even a little bit surprised.  How sad is that?  She had a hard life and I know that this wasn't the first time.  I guess I just assumed that things had gotten better for her.  She had just gotten a new kitten and was enjoying spending time with her grandson.  Now I sit here and wonder how I missed it?  How could I have not noticed that she was hurting this much?  Intellectually, I know that this is all part of the grieving process but it just sucks!!