Friday, October 2, 2009
Ugh!
There are days when I wonder why I ever was dumb enough to get married. Today is one of those days. The man is half a country away and all I want to do is grab him by the shoulders and shake the hell out of him! His car is giving him grief again. Go figure since we already had to put a new transmission in it the last time he went on course in NB. So I suppose that it actaully should be laughable that he is back in NB and the "new" transimission is acting up again. We can't afford a new car at the moment. I know this and so does he. But instead of being reasonable about it he gets all sarcastic and bitchy. He suggested using the 3K that is in E-Man's savings account to put towards the purchase of a new car. I told him he was being an idiot! We will never replace that money because the honest truth is that we suck at money management. We have no savings to speak of and we owe a crapload of money to the bank and Mastercard. I will be the first one to admit that I am no genius when it comes to spending money wisely. I am an impulse buyer but that said, so is he. The difference is that where I might spend $100 on baby/kid stuff, he'll drop $1000 on a plasma cutter. He has sunk a crapload of cash into this truck he wants to restore and it is currently not driveable. Then there is the boat that the neighbour "gave" us. There went $500 for new seats, a cover and lord knows what else and it still isn't usable either. We make too much money between the 2 of us to be carrying the debtload that we do. And I have to be honest when I say that I have NO CLUE how to fix it. I have tried to do up a budget but we never stick to it. We might do ok with it for a week maybe 2 but then we fall right back to our old ways. I need help...
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Hopefully I have some advice that can help you out, because I certainly know what this is like!
ReplyDeleteIts always frustrating when you know you HAVE the money for great possibilities but don't know where to start to fix the problem now.
At this point, a budget is mandatory! I know its hard, believe me! But if you alone keep track of EVERYTHING you spend, every little penny (it helps to keep all your receipts in the same place), and only make wise purchases, then you can show him what you've been spending and how.
Then calculate how much money comes in, in one month, and show him how much he is spending.
My husband feels like he makes enough money to buy whatever he wants when he wants, but when it comes down to something we need, there is no money. I showed him that with tiny simple adjustments we could always have money in the bank.
I am TERRIBLE at saving, and if it on sale, and I dont need it, I buy it anyways. So I am not saying I am perfect, and I can't hold a budget for more then a month either. But knowing its possible, make is easier!!
At one point, with every pay check, I would go online and transfer $50-$100 into a savings account. Because of all the spending he didnt even notice it missing! I mean, don't HIDE it from him, and if he asks be honest, but it really shows you how fast you can accumulate & save money! He was stunned when I showed him the amount of money he didn't even notice was missing, and that he thought he had spent. It really opened his eyes!
Hope this helps you, even a little!!
Good luck!
LOL, Melissa! You sound like a 1950's wife! ;o) I love it! :)
ReplyDeleteDH is the money mastermind in our family. He likes to spend, but he also likes to save too, so he helps balance me out.
ML, do you have an EAP program either through your work or DJ's work that could refer you to a credit councellor? Perhaps if he the news that he needs to cut back on his spending came from a "professional" (or someone other than his wife) he'd be more likely to heed that advice?
Thinking of you lots lately. I keep meaning to get some of our childhood birthday party pics scanned up uploaded to Facebook for a laugh... someday soon hopefully! :) xo